How to Eliminate a Meddlesome IOA Agent: Episode 1
by Shadows-of-Realm
Summary: Both Atlantis and the SGC have had enough of the IOA. It's elimination time! Each story will have a new situation that prompts the removal of the IOA Agent in question. This will be a continuing series of IOA removals! First up: Mr. Coolidge...


**How to Eliminate a Meddlesome IOA Agent**

**Episode 1: Mr. Coolidge Learns Why Not to Argue with the Wraith**

**Disclaimer:** **Unfortunately****, MGM owns Stargate Atlantis and Stargate SG1; I have no affiliation with them and therefore am simply borrowing their characters. I promise I'll put them all back when I'm good and ready!**

**Summary:** Both Atlantis and the SGC have had enough of the IOA. It's elimination time! Each story will have a new situation that prompts the removal of the IOA Agent in question. This will be a series of IOA removals that will continue! First up: Mr. Coolidge!

Thanks to **theicemenace** for her brainstorming help and actually helping spawn several of ways of elimination! Thanks go to both **theicemenace** and **ladygris** for their extensive beta help!

**Chapter 1: Arrival**

* * *

"Unscheduled offworld activation! Raising the shield!" Sergeant Chuck Campbell called out over the radio. "Receiving an IDC… It's Stargate Command."

Dr. Elizabeth Weir walked across the catwalk from her office to the command center. "Lower the shield."

"Yes Ma'am, Incoming video feed." Chuck replied.

"Onscreen."

A face came into view. Elizabeth sighed when she realized it was the new representative of the IOA, Mr. Coolidge. Ever since he joined the International Oversight Advisory, paperwork had tripled. What used to take her a fair two hours a week, now took six… if she was lucky. Often times, she had to fill out the requisition forms in triplicate, once for archives, once for the SGC, and once to give to Mr. Coolidge. Those weeks, her paperwork took ten hours. He was really getting on her nerves. 'What does he want now?' she thought?

"Dr. Weir, I trust you received the paperwork in regards to my little trip?" He asked.

"What little trip?" Her eyes narrowed when she saw his suitcase beside him, 'What's that idiot planning?'

"Ah well. You know how it is working for the government. With all that paperwork, some of its bound to get lost. You should know then that I have decided that your current method of dealing with the Wraith has been deemed a failure. I would have a thought a negotiator of your caliber would have dealt with this properly. Instead you send your teams out to destroy them. Think of what they could teach us… they were around during the time of the Ancients after all."

"Mr. Coolidge. Might I remind you that they were _at war_ with the Ancients?"

"It's all water under the bridge as far as the IOA is concerned. It has been decided that _I_ will take over where you failed. I'm coming through." With that, he stepped through the gate and after a short pause appeared within Atlantis.

Elizabeth turned to Chuck, "Inform Colonel Sheppard of our guest and request a security detail to escort Mr. Coolidge to his quarters."

He tapped a few buttons on his console, "Yes Ma'am. Right away!" 'What I wouldn't give to tell the security detail that he was a threat to base security.' He thought to himself, grinning deviously.

* * *

"Go ahead Chuck." John had heard Chuck calling him on the radio while sparring with Ronon. He held a hand up telling Ronon to wait and tapped his headset to connect them. "Who did? Mr. Coolidge? He didn't! I'm on my way" John tapped his headset again to disconnect.

"What's wrong?" Ronon asked.

"Mr. Coolidge just came through the gate from the SGC. He's decided that our current strategy for the Wraith isn't working. He wants to _negotiate_ with them."

Ronon growled, "I'll teach him to _negotiate_!"

"Ronon, wait!" Tapping his headset again, "Major Lorne, meet me in the Gate Room and bring two Marines for escort duty."

"Yes sir, we'll be there in two minutes. Lorne out."

John ran after Ronon trying to catch up with him before he did something that he would regret.

* * *

**theicemenace** and I were talking one day and this is what got spawned! Hope you liked it! I will try to update once weekly!


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